Melanie Bowman is the marketing manager of RSVP – Australia’s Largest Singles Site, an online service with over half a million members nationwide. She says the key to re-entering the dating game lies in the realisation that the breakdown of your previous relationship is not your fault – there were two people involved and, therefore, you did not fail alone. Here are her tips on giving your confidence and social calendar a boost.

Build yourself up to something
Who doesn’t love a confident woman? It comes with feeling good about who and what you are. Regain your confidence by surrounding yourself with loved ones. If you’re feeling insecure, you might want to think about joining an online dating agency, as its anonymous nature provides people with a safe, convenient and easy way of meeting others, and the extent of involvement is entirely up to you.

Get out there
It sounds obvious, but to meet someone you need to be open to it. In this day and age there are lots of ways to meet new people – from the traditional methods (through friends and family) to the increasingly popular modern ways, such as online dating and social activities like speed dating. The best way for you to start dating again will be determined through trial and error. You won’t know if you’re on to something good unless you get out there and give it a try.

Have fun!
They don’t call it the dating game for nothing. If you have fun with someone you’re going to want to see them again, and then things will develop naturally. Go into the relationship armed with lessons learnt, and listen to your intuition – if something feels right, a lot of the time it will be.

Early dates should involve meeting at a public place just to be safe. In terms of what to wear, choose something that you know you look good in, because this is likely to boost your confidence – when you look good, you usually feel great. Smile and relax – remember that your date is probably just as nervous as you.

Avoid being anyone but yourself
You don’t want to end up attracting someone for the wrong reasons, so act as you naturally would. Avoid taking things too seriously too soon, and stop thinking about whether this new person is The One.

Also remember that different people bring out different qualities in you and that not everyone is what you will expect. Have an idea of what you want in a partner, but be open to the realisation that the person you end up with could be the complete opposite. Avoid the temptation to compare your new partner with previous partners – for better or worse, people are individuals and need to be treated that way.

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- Detox your relationships
- Ask your partner to have a sexual health test
- Ask a man for a date