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Culture: doing the splits

Celebrities, despite what tabloid magazines try to tell us on a weekly basis, are not just like us. More specifically – no ground-breaking headline here – they don’t conduct their romantic lives realistically. In truth, I have a fair deal of sympathy for them: fame fucks with even the most rational, level-headed people – hard. And, well, most famous people are anything but. That’s why you see headlines like ‘Katy Perry Marries Russell Brand’ or ‘Sinead O’Connor Calls Off Wedding After 17 Days’ popping up so regularly.

That’s why I rarely mourn the death of a celebrity marriage – frankly, I’m shocked when two people whose lives, by virtue of their nomadic careers, regularly keep them apart actually manage to maintain some semblance of solidarity. I expect celebrities to marry again and again, to be found out as philanderers, to keep playing the field until they’re dead. (Just the other day, I read that Nick Nolte has a four-year-old daughter. He’s 71.)

But earlier this week, when I heard that Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli are ending their marriage after 11 years, I actually felt a bit…sad. I have nothing invested in these two – okay, I’ve always had a big crush on him – and never considered them paragons of anything in particular. But they always looked like a perfectly happy couple, with their sun-kissed California tans and perfect smiles and three cute-as-a-button daughters. And I liked that two former teen idols shacked up, gave it a go, and passed the decade-long mark. (I’ll even forgivethis atrocious family photo featuring a load of ugly Crocs.) I suppose they just looked like they worked. Perhaps, in the end, it just turned into too much work.

Divorce is a painful, overwhelming, life-altering, stinky, no-good mess – and I speak from experience: my parents split before I turned three, and their prolonged battle stays with me three decades later. I don’t know if any of us will ever fully “get over” the trauma. I was an only child when this happened; as such, I took a lot of refuge in front of the TV set and at the cinema, a place where writers, actors and directors also licked their wounds and explored the rise of divorce culture in some gorgeously rendered (and sometimes very funny) films and TV shows. Here are five of them.

Kramer vs. Kramer (1979) The alpha and omega of divorce films – a painful (and often painfully funny) tearjerker that took an unusual approach: here, it’s the workaholic father (Dustin Hoffman) who’s left to raise his son alone after his wife (Meryl Streep) walks out on him.

Husbands and Wives (1992) A biting, acerbic Woody Allen classic about a professor and his wife (Allen and our own Judy Davis), who suddenly start to notice the cracks in their own foundation when two friends (played by Mia Farrow and Sydney Pollack) announce they’ll be separating. Quick and zingy and dark and uncomfortably prescient – not long after this film released, real-life couple Allen and Farrow split after news he’d been sleeping with their 21-year-old adopted daughter Soon-Yi, whom he eventually married. (See? Hollywood!)

An Unmarried Woman (1978) A year before Kramer vs. Kramer brought divorce into the mainstream, this buoyant and thoughtful dramedy showcased the late Jill Clayburgh in a career-best performance as Erica, a wealthy Manhattanite blindsided by her husband’s news that he’s leaving her for a new woman. It’s hard to find in Oz, but worth the hunt – this (unfortunately) forgotten gem deserves your attention.

Stepmom (1998) Detractors say it’s emotionally manipulative, overly simplistic and unfairly biased toward the so-called first wife (that would be Susan Sarandon’s terminally ill martyr of a mum), who’s trying to figure out how to say goodbye to her two children – and come to terms with the vivacious new woman (Julia Roberts) who’s now with her ex. But Stepmom deserves credit for not shying away from all of those ugly, unfortunate emotions that roil a family when death and divorce come calling, and will most certainly resonate with anyone who’s ever been part of a blended family. In other words, a whole lot of us.

The First Wives Club (1996) Look, divorce doesn’t have to be all teary arguments and objects flung across the lounge room. This fizzy ‘90s stalwart is headlined by a genius trio of actresses – Diane, Goldie, and Bette – playing well-heeled socialites who decide to enact sweet, hilarious revenge on their insensitive, tail-chasing husbands. Great one-liners and ridiculous celebrity cameos (Ivana Trump, Kathie Lee Gifford, Larry King…) – unlike some marriages, this one never grows stale. 

Nicholas Fonseca is madison’s features and news editor. You can follow him on Twitter at @NFonseca78

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