Want to dive back under the doona as soon as the alarm goes off for work? Here are the five top workplace spirit suckers - and what to do about them. By Alexandra Carlton.
Dread. It’s one of the worst feelings on Earth. And when the source of your dread is contained within the walls of the office – the place you spend more waking hours than anywhere else – it can make your life a living hell. We’ve isolated five of the main workplace confidence killers (those nightmare scenarios that make you want to hop back on the bus and go home again) and asked the experts for advice on how you can shake them off and get back on form.
You suspect you’re no good at your job
It starts as a niggle. A few sleepless nights, a creeping unease. And then it crescendos to a horrible certainty. Maybe, just maybe, you’re not very good at your job. It’s a hideous thought; quite likely, by now, you’re settled into your career and you’re there because it’s an industry you like. So how do you handle the growing realisation that maybe you’re working in the wrong place or even doing the wrong thing?
First up, don’t panic, says Gillian Kelly from personal marketing firm Career Edge (careeredge.com.au). “It’s a terrible feeling when you’re trying so hard but you feel like you’re failing,” she says. “But it’s not always the career-path death knell, so don’t race to jump ship too soon.” Instead, she suggests you start by asking for help. A supportive boss or manager should have systems in place to guide anxious employees through this sort of thing. The key is to be honest and communicate your passion, says Kelly, but let them know that you’re having a bit of a rough time. Extra training and plans for improvement could get you on track again.
Also consider whether you’re being a bit hard on yourself. “Not everyone needs to be a high achiever,” says Domonique Bertolucci, life coach and author of Your Best Life. “For some people, a job is just a job and that’s okay. There is no problem with this approach as long as your performance is not below average.”
But if you’re still gasping for breath every time the lift doors close in the morning maybe it’s time to move on. Figure out why you chose your current career in the first place – was it something you fell into after high school or university without much reflection? Make an honest assessment of your skills in other areas and perhaps turn that sewing hobby or mechanical know-how into a sparkling new career. Gather your support network – friends, family, understanding colleagues – and navigate your ship to new harbours. It may take a little while to find, but there is a job out there for every passion and talent.
You made a big mistake at work
Own up. Apologise. Take it squarely on the chin. And then do everything possible to reassure everyone involved that it will never happen again (without grovelling!). “[Former Olympic athlete] Marion Jones isn’t in jail for cheating, she’s in jail for lying about it,” says Karen Adamedes, author of Hot Tips for Career Chicks. The slammer probably isn’t on your horizon, no matter how pear-shaped the events have gone, but the best way to salvage the respect of your colleagues and clients in the event of a serious screw-up is by taking the heat – backed-up by a clear plan of how you’ll remedy your error or at least avoid going down that road again. You’ll then earn the respect of everyone else, no matter how begrudgingly.
Next, move on. “Women tend to beat themselves up and replay things a thousand times to the point that it starts seeming far worse than it actually was,” says Adamedes. “If you have to, use some mental imagery where you lock the event in the back of your brain and store it there. If you don’t, you may hesitate with your next move and second-guess yourself a bit too much.” And that’s when you might find yourself back at screw-up square one.
You’re better at your job than your boss
Careful with this one. Sometimes you may think you’re outdoing your boss and then find your resentment growing as a result. But are you really considering the whole of their role? You might be better at writing reports, but perhaps they are better at management or staff relations. A good boss should be supportive of your strengths – even when they outclass theirs – and take care of the issues outside of your professional jurisdiction so you can stick to what you’re good at.
It’s when your boss feels threatened that problems arise. If they have a red pen at the ready to annihilate everything you do or continuously put down your work when you know it’s the goods, then you’re in a lose-lose situation. It might be worth having a chat with them to see if there’s anything you can do to improve your lot – perhaps there’s been a misunderstanding that can be cleared up. But in reality, bad managers do exist and if they have it in for you, they’re unlikely to act differently. Pause to be sure that the lie of the land isn’t likely to change soon (are they being moved to another department?), but if it still looks bleak and you don’t think you can put up with it, your only choices are to contact human resources – or leave. “Do it professionally,” warns Adamedes. But make sure you do it, adds Bertolucci. “If they are truly incompetent, they could take you down with them.”
You made a bad hire
Not to freak you out here, but hiring the wrong person is a bit of a catastrophe. A paper published by recruitment specialists Drake International found that a bad hire can cost a company between 30 and 200 per cent of that person’s salary – not only through the repeat hiring/firing process, but also due to low staff morale and lost sales opportunities that can result from your company’s lowered reputation. Ideally, you’d make use of the crucial three-month trial period before you found yourself with a dud employee under your watch, but in case you
haven’t, you have to react fast.
“If they’re not meeting expectations, address this with them honestly and as soon as possible,” says Jonathan Sampson, a national manager at Drake International. “They may not be aware they’re not performing, as you don’t know what was considered ‘success’ at their previous place of work.” If, after your talk, they’re still not picking up their act, then you act. Consult your HR department and follow their advice. The longer you leave this problem to fester, the more costly it will become – and the lower the morale of other staff who will have to absorb this person’s mistakes. And remember your lessons for next time: that trial period really is there for a good reason. In future, says Sampson, “run a detailed induction program that clearly outlines the expectations of the business … and set some defined tasks for them to achieve in the first two weeks and then throughout the trial period”. If they’re struggling then, they’ll probably keep struggling. Ultimately, you don’t want more “fires” than “hires” under your belt, so if you must, let them go before things get even more unworkable.
You’ve climbed as high as you want to go in your organisation
It goes against every fibre of your professional being, right? Ever since you got your first pay packet you’ve understood that the only way was up. Yet there are many reasons why applying the professional brakes can be a very smart move. Maybe your current role works with your family life, or a promotion would mean less time spent in a creative field and more hours shuffling paper. So how do you deal with your expectations – and the expectations of those around you – when you decide you’re quite happy where you are, thank you very much? First, don’t be afraid to tell your manager or be worried about their reaction. If you’re good at your role, it’s more than likely they’ll be thrilled to keep you there, rather than find someone new to learn the ropes.
Harder to handle may be the pitying looks and whispers from less-experienced colleagues as they climb beyond you. The trick is to have your priorities straight in your head and have the confidence to stick with your decision. “Talk about how you don’t want competing priorities to affect your ability to give 100 per cent to your job,” says Bertolucci. And then, remember that you are not your job. You’re much more than that. Chances are, the penny will drop when you’re kicking back with your partner/children/hobbies and enjoying the perfect work-life balance – and everyone else is still clocking up the office hours as the sun goes down.
More issue features:
Sex addiction: genuine condition or a pathetic excuse for bad behaviour?
Childless by choice: why does society vilify women who choose not to have children?
Eat for your age: how to shake up your eating patterns to suit your age