Madison life - Career: Working relationship

It may be a cliché but most of us have brought it to life at some point in our careers. We’ve engaged in that most loaded of workplace indulgences: the office romance.

Given we spend a significant proportion of our waking hours at work, it’s not all that surprising. What starts out as subtle flirting can easily spiral into something more serious. Nor is it necessarily a bad thing: unions that begin at the office are statistically more likely to develop into successful long-term relationships than those that arise from, say, drunken nightclub encounters.

After all, working together allows you to get to know the object of your affections in a normal, everyday environment before you have to face the awkward pressure of that formal first date. But combining romantic and professional interests can also be a minefield – and it could even cost you your job. So it pays to take sensible precautions before you move from boardroom to bedroom.

Relationships psychologist John Aiken (johnaiken.com.au) advocates proceeding with caution but also believes office romances have some unbeatable advantages. “You get to know and be around a potential partner without showing your hand,” says Aiken. “It’s a really good opportunity to see what they are like with peers, how they work and what their values are before deciding whether to take action.”

Helaine Olen, co-author of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding – and Managing – Romance on the Job, agrees. She points out that as most of us are working longer hours and starting serious relationships later in life, offices have surpassed universities and local communities as hotspots for finding a future spouse.

Indeed, surveys suggest that up to 80 per cent of us have had a dalliance from our desks. “There’s the stereotype of an office romance – which is quickies by the photocopier – but that’s just a myth,” says Olen. “If anything, it’s flirting that has gone on for months or years, so the couple really know each other well beforehand.” A key factor, she says, is that “people working in the same industry tend to have the same interests and share similar backgrounds.” Olen points to research that shows one in five couples who meet through work will go on to enjoy a long-term relationship – a significantly better rate than locations including bars, churches and personal ads.

And how does an office romance affect your work performance? You might assume that being able to gaze lustfully at, interact with and email your boyfriend from just down the hall would have a distracting, negative impact. Surprisingly, this doesn’t seem to be the case.
“There’s evidence that when we are better engaged with people around us, we are better employees – we don’t want to get sacked at the same place as our spouse is working,” explains Olen. This is reinforced by research from the UK’s Westminster University, which found dating colleagues were just as productive as their unattached counterparts.

But surely there are pitfalls, right? “You get mighty sick of each other very quickly,” laughs Olen. “And for women especially, there’s a risk of being taken less seriously.”