Today marks Tom Cruise’s birthday
and what better way to celebrate 50 years of life than with a third divorce
. Yep, on Friday media outlets everywhere reported that Katie Holmes had filed for a divorce from her husband of five years Tom Cruise. This not-so-surprising news signals the demise of TomKat
and the alleged reason is more predictable than rain on weekends: Cruise’s devotion to scientology
. His refusal to celebrate his milestone birthday with his family, instead, opting to stay in a remote film location was the alleged straw that broke this relationship’s metaphorical back.
When you combine religious eccentricities, an actor labelled Hollywood’s most crazy, a young, hot starlet and a six-year-old brat in heels, this is the stuff of a paparazzo’s wet dream. Yes, since reports of Katie and Tom emerged (and then were confirmed in a couch-jumping Oprah
show) the world of TomKat has become a moving target for headlines, stories and rumours
. The relationship has been a whirlwind of silent birthing, platform shoes (for Tom), separate bedrooms, gushing public appearances, and ‘‘Free Katie’’ campaigns.
And while I’m sure this is a very sad event for all parties involved. (According to Suri’s parody site, Suri’s Burn Book
, she’s “vacationing in the Cayman Islands for the Independence Day holiday with my financier, and going over my plans to seek sole custody of myself.”) I, however, think that one group in particular will be donning their mourning blacks – yep, conspiracy theorists will now have to find themselves a new topic of interest.
But, they are proving that they won’t go down without a fight. According to conspiracy theorists even TomKat’s divorce is part of a bigger plan. The number 33 has a connection with Scientology and is also the age at which Cruise’s three wives left him
. Oooh. And, while we’re sure that the coming months will bring tedious family court accounts with Holmes wanting full custody of Suri
and the settlement sum bound to be more than I can comprehend, let’s now look back at some of the fabulous and oh-so logical conspiracies of Hollywood’s most curious relationship
... Conspiracy one: Katie Holmes was cast to play Tom Cruise’s wife
The story tells that after the divorce from Nicole Kidman, Cruise needed a new wife. Enter his best friend, Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis who set the wheels in motion. The mission: to find a woman who would accept the teachings of Scientology, but who would also look good on Tom’s arm — and not make too many waves. Many were tried... Penelope Cruz, Sofia Vegara and Scarlett Johansson to name a few.
Yet sights were set on Holmes after reporting that she dreamed of marrying Cruise as a little girl. Theorists say she was then “auditioned” before going on a date with Tom complete with a chocolate and flower filled limousine.
Their pre-nup, according to insiders, is said to have had a series of milestones where Katie would receive certain bonuses depending on how long their marriage lasted. What’s more, one Hollywood insider said that the marriage and child was all part of a rumoured $20 million deal. Quite a high paying gig for the Dawson’s Creek
actress if there is any truth in it. Conspiracy two: Suri didn’t actually exist
This cracker, fuelled by website TMZ, was based on pap shots taken when Katie was eight months pregnant and at the time looking bigger than she did in a picture taken 13 days before Suri’s birth. Further flames to the fire were the couples refusal to release pictures of Suri until a few months after the birth and a video of Katie shopping just days before the delivery for jeans sized 26 which the website claimed as “ a bit odd for someone who had a long way to go to regain her figure.”
Then… Conspiracy three: Suri wasn’t actually Tom’s child
The father instead? Oh yes, his cousin William Mapother. The evidence: Suri looked more like him in a photo than Tom... foolproof! This theory helped solidify the rumours of Cruise’s homosexuality and infertility. It was also helped by reports that Tom and Katie didn’t share a bedroom. Eliza Cracknell is madison's deputy chief sub-editor